now and next

Hmm.....why is this that im feeling?? u know that feeling of being empty and at the same time happy but sad i duno maybe im feeling this coz im bored and i have no friends hmm...well i do have a hand full but its mainly caused by my anti-socialness yes im ANTI-SOCIAL deal with it or live with it, like i care what other ppl think!
anyways recently i feel kinda empty inside maybe its abt time to find my other half hm...dont care if i find that person really.

the title of my post is 'Now and Next' why eh coz now im alone like i need some1 and next i'll still be alone in the end im all alone, in this world we dont really need anyone to make us complet in a way i think coz one by one they shall leave your side i know it sounds kinda sad and depressing but thats how i see this world we live in nothing last forever, its like a life cycle really born, age, reproduce and in the end death...thats the same as friends and other halfs, make friends become good friends best friends lost contact then disappear out of ur life i may have offended some people but saying that im trully sorry...

hm...my next holiday would be Hong Kong its only coz i wana buy a few things from there a new mp3 player...and some other electronics, sight seeing, and food ahaha me and my food XD anyways if i do go back to HK i would not like to see my family why because people talk to much its like what eva i do there would be reported back to london theres no difference in me being there if things are gona be reported back to london eh...and to be honest i like to be away from my family thats y until now i've always wanted to move out if only i could ifnd my self a much better job and a place to stay oooh not to mention a housemate hm...or if a 1 bedroom flat is cheap i'll just move in alone since i dnt go out much thesedays im sure i'll live =)

Vivian

To my BFF (bestfriend forever) VIVIAN!! I know we celebrated your b'day last week but today June the 23rd is your actual b'day. I know I've given you your presents and surprises last week but on xanga im here to wish you a happy birthday from Hongy XD
I know you been through a lot this year and i know wishing you a better year always comes during CNY time anyways erm...I just hope that my BFF would find eternal happiness yup! ENERNAL HAPPINESS is what im wishin you to have! coz u derserve it my dearers bestfriend always love you (in that friendship way)
since we as people cant tell the future, no matter what happens between us or comes between us i'll always be here for you.

FOREVER YOUR SAU WOO SING

Love Hongy ur BFF =)
again
HAPPY BIRTHDAY may all your wishes and dreams come true! -muahz-

random stuff

alrights im just bored right now er...theres a few things that i need to update on...
first things first...need to save up more since i wana go HK and need to get a few pressies since most people i know bdays are in june and july ¬_¬ anyways i was chattin to vviian about randim things and she mentioned her b'day wish well i wasnt sure if she was seriouse about it or not but i think its fate to decide that ;)

secondly i have though over my plans about goin to canada....
i was chattin to my friend sou abt it and she said
sou: DD your just wasting your time and money if you go la
me: wah jer will miss me aww thanks wah jer
sou: cheeky DD nottie
-a slight flirt-
she said that within 2-3 years time if im luckly i'll most probs have a nice reputation in the animating industary and people will be fighting for me (which i like). So theres no need in goin canada for a year, she also mentioned that if i want to work on my portfolio (which is y im goin canada and improve my skills)
sou:DD you'll be working 5 days a week within the 2 remaining days you could work on ur portfolio and improve ur 3d skills also the work which you'll have out there for companies will be in your portfolio sillie
i must admit shes wise ¬_¬ she also included:
sou:DD if u want to spend 16k then come to manchester and spend it with me we both go on holiday woohooo
me:well wah jer i wouldnt spend 16k with u but i'll spend 3k with u coz i wana spend some money and time with my friend in london as well as save up 10k for myself...

soo yeahhh imnot goin canada i really ned to RE-think that idea of mine :p

random stuff

alrights im just bored right now er...theres a few things that i need to update on...
first things first...need to save up more since i wana go HK and need to get a few pressies since most people i know bdays are in june and july ¬_¬ anyways i was chattin to vviian about randim things and she mentioned her b'day wish well i wasnt sure if she was seriouse about it or not but i think its fate to decide that ;)

secondly i have though over my plans about goin to canada....
i was chattin to my friend sou abt it and she said
sou: DD your just wasting your time and money if you go la
me: wah jer will miss me aww thanks wah jer
sou: cheeky DD nottie
-a slight flirt-
she said that within 2-3 years time if im luckly i'll most probs have a nice reputation in the animating industary and people will be fighting for me (which i like). So theres no need in goin canada for a year, she also mentioned that if i want to work on my portfolio (which is y im goin canada and improve my skills)
sou:DD you'll be working 5 days a week within the 2 remaining days you could work on ur portfolio and improve ur 3d skills also the work which you'll have out there for companies will be in your portfolio sillie
i must admit shes wise ¬_¬ she also included:
sou:DD if u want to spend 16k then come to manchester and spend it with me we both go on holiday woohooo
me:well wah jer i wouldnt spend 16k with u but i'll spend 3k with u coz i wana spend some money and time with my friend in london as well as save up 10k for myself...

soo yeahhh imnot goin canada i really ned to RE-think that idea of mine :p

thoughs

been kinda down lately update details later goin work soon

...okie back from up my update....

been kinda down lately, its only because I find women evey hard to understand and stuff, they stress me out!
okie while i was sleeping last night shanice gave me a call at night *woke me up* the call went something like this:

shanice: hiya you alright? did i wake u up??
me: yeah im find, i was just about to sleep (NOT i was already sleepin)
shaince: oh okay then, so are you free for a chat or you wana sleep?
me: *look at the time* nah its kool <---(donna got my saying that) whats up?
shanice: just wondering, do you still like me by any chance? please tell me the truth since you twist your words with me..
me: well i did like you at one point but i dnt think i like you in that sort of way anymore...
--pause from both---
me: hey shanice are u alright? well maybe in the future we could be together or something
shanice:im alright, hey hong guess what?
me:what? did u pass ur exams?
shanice:erm..nope but something even better
me: nope cant think at this time
shanice: i got a BF hehe
me: thats nice
shaince: your not happy for me? you jealious?
me:im happy for you and no why should i be jealious??
shanice: oh erm..hey im going to go now speak to you soon yeah
me: good night
----phone down----

wtf is wrong with people i mean callin me up saying that u have a bf like i F*in care i didnt wana be rude but i can be a meanie sometimes ;p its fun
thats the end of that i hope, for the pass few days i've havent been up to much i guess just uni work and work work it just seems endless..

 I've been thinking for a while of moving out from london well UK infact but I duno where to move to thats all until the chance came up my tutor told me about the canadian film school in Canada.
If i do decide to go, I'll be gone for a whole year and iot would cost me £16k more or less ¬____¬ thasts only studie fees man..anyways so far i have only told yumz i have no idea how i a goin to say it to vivian...
sorry vivian i know you'll be kinda hm..down -no, upset ish that i havent spoken to u about it (coz i only know yesterday) and been thinkin i wana move out for a while. i duno how you'll react if i said i'm goin to move out of london since we're like soo dam close and when i told yumz abt it she said we'll chat on msn haha which i dnt think the school has :p
anyways i kinda hinted to vivian about movin out the UK as an 'IF' i move out it hurts thinkin that she'll be upset, i think i have to rethink my plans.

Hey Vivian im not sure if you read my xanga but if you do right, the thing i asked you on msn about me moving out the UK well i dont think i'll be movin out for another 2 years (until i make more money)
but i didnt want to say im 100% sure i wana move out coz i dnt wana see u sad or hearin that you'll be sad..im so sorry.
I'll only be out of the UK for only a year..i think  but if by any chance i'll have a job overseas doing my thing then i guess i'll just stay overseas to do my thing i know you;ll be sad even worst i havent even told u dam this is one of my sadest enteries ever well I'll try not to think abt it and see how it goes...please understand me for not telling you im trully sorry my bestfriend

and thank you yummie-boo for supporting me :) 
if by any chance I do move i'll miss the both of you 4eva

Love Hongy(vivian), Pongie(yunnie-boo)